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Subject: Public review comments - saml-session-token-v1.0-csprd01
Hi, Most of this is minor editorial comments, with some comments on the content. line 12 - two right brackets on reference [RFC2965]]. Section 1.2 - Five references using "et al." - each one is wrong - format is "J. Doe et al., Title of Work" line 23 - citing a working draft as a normative reference can delay progress to OASIS Standard line 51 - need proper citation format for OASIS Standard line 86 - Figure 3 - since the flow depicted by the arrow DOES NOT happen, it might make sense to indicate this by a big "X" or something similar. line 149 - missing period at end. Section 3 - might benefit from something like a ladder diagram to provide more detail on the sequence of messages flowing among SA, browser, and SC. This could be referenced in later sections. line 283 - references in brackets should come before the period. Line 449 - remove word "use" line 450 - insert "the" before "past" 451 - lower case "R" in Running; it would be helpful to have a reference. Also, you might mean "published" instead of "publicized"? 455 - remove second "yet" 458 - Phrase ending in [RFC2965] is not a complete sentence. 460-464 - weak discussion - maybe re-write in terms of "man-in-the-middle attack" 465 - sever --> server Useful spec! Regards, Paul
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