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Subject: [security-services] comments on core-25


Hello,

I could have enough time to read through the core-25, and here are my
comments.
Though I haven't necessarily understood whole spec, I hope this would
be helpful.


*291
 "that is has" should be
 "that it has"  ?

*340,341
 "the value the assertion's .." should be
 "the value of the assertion's .."

*350,353
 "Section 3.4.2" should point to Chapter 4

*369 says "One or more of ", but the schema at 386 specifies minOccurs="0"

*In Section 2.3.3, is it better to add a simple explanation of
 <Signature> element and point to Chapter 5?

*414
 "element" should be "elements"

*419,421,423
  [Zero or more] or [Any Number] - Which is better to use?

*Related to 433
 In draft-sstc-schema-assertion-25.xsd, ConditionsType doesn't have
 TargetRestrictionCondition element. (Please check the schema file)

*476,477
 <Audience> element is not mentioned here.

*Related to 485
 In draft-sstc-schema-assertion-25.xsd, minOccurs is not specified for
 Audience element. (Please check the schema file)

*491 (2.3.3.1.4)
 The name of this section differs from other sections in style.
 Should be "Elements <TargetRestrictionCondition> and <Target>" 

*496,497
 <Target> element is not mentioned here.

*613,625
 Is <SubjectConfirmationData> optional? Or maxOccurs must be
 specified.

*629
 Delete minOccurs="0".

*636,656
 Needs use="required" at 656?
 The default value of the use attribute is "optional".

*639,657
 Needs use="required" at 657?

*In the Section 2.4.3, needs an explanation of <AuthorityBinding>
 element.

*666,676
 DNSAddress is said as Required at 666, but use="optional" at 676.

*681,689
 It is better to add use="optional" at 689.

*683,690
 It is better to add use="optional" at 690.

*784,792
 Needs use="required" at 792?

*786,793
 Needs use="required" at 793?

*866
 "attributes" should be "attributes and elements"

*873,876
 "Section 3.4.2" should point to Chapter 4

*877
 related to 419,421,423
  [Zero or more] or [Any Number] - Which is better to use?

*In Section 3.2.1, is it better to add a simple explanation of
 <Signature> element and point to Chapter 5?

*929,930
 <AssetionArtifact> element is not mentioned here.

*978,984
 Though 978 says that response will be "an assertion", 984 says that a
 responder returns "assertions".

*1029,1047
 Needs use="required" at 1047?

*1064,1067
 "Section 3.4.2" should point to Chapter 4

*In Section 3.4.1, is it better to add a simple explanation of
 <Signature> element and point to Chapter 5?

*1085
 Add "[Zero or more]".

*1105
 related to 419,421,423
  [Zero or more] or [Any Number] - Which is better to use?

*1122,1143
 Needs use="required" at 1143?

*1156,1181
 Needs use="required" at 1181?

*1231
 Last equal sign ('=') shoud be greater sign ('>').

*1326
 change "Assetion" to "assertion".
---
Toshi

NISHIMURA Toshihiro (FAMILY Given)
nishimura.toshi@jp.fujitsu.com
XML Application Technology Dept., PROJECT-A XML, FUJITSU LIMITED


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