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Subject: RE: [soa-rm-ra] RE: Section 3 - latest draft
Jeff, I've taken on board most of your edits, with the exception of the following: 726 - I think it would indeed add confusion so don't propose to take this. 738 - We addressed this in a different way, defining actor as a "human or non-human agent", a phrase we use elsewhere 746 - I agree with your concern. Semi-automated is thus deleted 889 - 'owner' role is removed, as it is not defined Peter | -----Original Message----- | From: Estefan, Jeff A (3100) [mailto:jeffrey.a.estefan@jpl.nasa.gov] | Sent: Monday, 11 April 2011 12:33 | To: soa-rm-ra@lists.oasis-open.org | Subject: [soa-rm-ra] RE: Section 3 - latest draft | | Peter and Chris, | | Looks like we've finally made it over the hump. Latest Sect 3 draft looks really | good. Couple of mostly minor editorial comments below. Think it's about time | to tie this one down. I'll work on updating/creating the associated UML models. | Right now, my machine is being repaired so I don't have access to MD. Hope to | get to it sometime this week. | | Regards... | | - Jeff | | Line 555: We had adopted the editorial standard to use "View" in Title case | when we called out or referenced to the View name, e.g., Participation in a SOA | Ecosystem View (vs. view). | | Line 580. Same as 555. | | Line 583. Recommend adding "As stated ealier" before sentence that starts with | "The OAISS SOA RM defines SOA...". Otherwise, this looks like a duplication of | lines 567-569. | | Line 605: Recommend putting "execution context" in bold face type (first | occurrence). | | Line 622: Recommend putting "delegates" in bold face type (first occurrence). | | Line 631: The concept of "service actions" is no longer defined anywhere in this | View. Should this be "the action model" and/or "joint actions" (in bold)? | | Line 672: Are we using RAF for shorthand or SOA-RAF? Sometimes we use | hyphen, sometimes not and same with RM (or SOA-RM). Think we should be | consistent throughout and preference for the shorthand would be consistent | with the listed standards on the OASIS site (and in the case of the RM, it is SOA- | RM so by extrapolation, think we should use SOA-RAF. | | Line 677: Extra period at the end of the sentence. | | Line 726: Should we consider showing SOA Ecosystem and SOA-Based System at | a higher level of the class hierarchy in Fig. 5? Just a thought but perhaps not if it | will only introduce additional confusion. Just trying to be consistent with the | updated text. | | Line 738: Recommend changing "is a participant or delegate" to "is an entity". | This makes it more general and we do not need to formally define entity. It also | solves the circular hierarchy issue. | | Line 746: What is meant by "semi-automated" agent? | | Lines 770-771: Change "and the actions that participant may performs" to "and | the actions that a participant may perform". | | Line 803: Erroneous period between the words "concerned" and "even". | | Line 849: Perhaps find a better forward reference than "later on". I see the | actual referenced section number is cross-out but leaving it in would read more | professionally. | | Line 889: Concept of "owner" is shown in bold face type but is not formally | defined in the text. Ownership is but Owner is not. In addition, an owner is | referred to as a role but it is not modeled in the subsection on service roles. | | Line 1018 Extra period at the end of the sentence. | | Line 1088: Is risk indeed a "private" assessment? Don't want to belabor the | point or get into a long debate. Just asking when wearing a PM hat. | | Line 1157: Need blank spaces at the end of the sentence "for satisfying them" | followed by the sentence that starts with "These". | | Line 1175: Word "possible" is part of the previous paragraph and should not be | split between its owning paragraph and Fig. 9. | | Line 1261: Need to state in the text that follows this new formal definition of | RWE why it is different from what was defined in the SOA-RM. It is OK to | overload the original definition in order to give the term more specificity or | context but we should state an argument why we choose to overload the | originally defined term. | | | | | | | | --------------------------------------------------------------------- | To unsubscribe from this mail list, you must leave the OASIS TC that generates | this mail. Follow this link to all your TCs in OASIS at: | https://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/portal/my_workgroups.php
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