[UPDATED LINE #'s] FW: Feedback/review comments against Sect 5(against GOLD STANDARD - 2011-04-30)

["Estefan, Jeff A (3100)" <jeffrey.a.estefan@jpl.nasa.gov>]

Ken and Peter,

 

Below are my updates corresponding to the line numbers as specified in the PDF version.  (Note that this is against Sect 5.  My next e-mail will be the updates corresponding to Sect 4.)

 

Couple of other points.

 

1) I see we don’t have anybody assigned to review Sect 6 and the Appendices some of which were transferred from Sect 1 and I know there are some typos there.

 

2) Please replace all occurrences of [TOGAF v8.1] with [TOGAF v9] throughout the text.  The References section had already been updated.

 

Cheers…

 

- Jeff

 

 

Feedback on Sect 5 against GOLD STANDARD - 2011-04-30:

 

Line 2436:  Change “Owning Service Oriented Architectures View” to “Ownership in a SOA Ecosystem View”

 

Line 2438:  Change “Owning a SOA-based system” to “Ownership of a SOA-based system in a SOA Ecosystem”

 

Line 2438 to 2439:  Recommend replacing double hashes (--) with em dashes (—) for sentence fragment “such as Enterprise suites”

 

Line 2446:  Change “Governance of SOA-based systems” to “governance and management of SOA-based systems”

 

Line 2447:  Change “SOA-based system and the management challenges” to “SOA-based system, and testing challenges”

 

Lines 2481 to 2491:  Check the paragraph line spacing.  It is not consistent with the rest of the document.  It looks much tighter/smaller.

 

Line 2505:  Need to correct broken cross reference.

 

Line 2868:  Need to correct broken cross reference.

 

Line 2926:  The class diagram depicts the concepts of “Speaking Action” and “Listening Action” which have since been dropped from Sect 3.  Perhaps we should drop them here.  These concepts are not mentioned in the paragraphs that follow the figure so they could be dropped without impacting the supporting narrative.

 

Line 3182:  Drop this line since the figures have been re-drawn in this latest gold source.

 

Line 3282:  Drop this line since the figures have been re-drawn in this latest gold source.

 

NOTE:  MISSING FROM THE MANAGEMENT MODEL.  AN ARCHITECTURAL IMPLICATIONS SUB-SECTION.  WE HAVE ONE FOR THE OTHER THREE MODELS (GOVERNANCE, SECURITY, & TESTING).

 

Line 3502:  COMMENTARY:  This entire sub-section would make an excellent white paper and is a bit long-winded for this spec IMHO.   Could be shortened by a factor of 2, again, IMHO.  Also missing a few supporting class diagrams.  Probably will not have time to update prior to public review but still wanted to make note this commentary.

 

Lines 3503 to 3505:  Please drop this quote as our convention has been to insert a quote at the View level (we have 3 in the overall spec) and not at the model level.

 

Line 3512:  Drop reference to Dijkstra quote per previous recommendation.

 

Line 3518:  Need to add formal reference to IEEE-829 so paragraph would end with [IEEE-829] in all bold text.  NOTE:  REFERENCE TO IEEE-29  IS MISSING SECTION 1.6.  NEED TO ADD IT.  NOT SURE IF IT SHOULD BE A NORMATIVE OR NON-NORMATIVE REFERENCE.

 

Line 3568:  Drop Editor’s Note or make appropriate changes prior to public review.

 

Lines 3570 to 3585:  Drop Editor’s Note or make appropriate changes prior to public review.

 

Lines 3544 to 3545:  Need to correct broken cross reference.

 

Lines 3828:  Need to correct broken cross reference.

 

Line 4995:  Drop Editor’s Note or make appropriate changes prior to public review.