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Subject: Issue - Conceptual - Policy Products, line 380 - closed
Nig: I think you are right and I’ve taken the liberty of editing your thoughts further. I’d suggest that the bullet point read as follows: “The development and management of Policy Products: These documents formally define government-wide goals for achieving government transformation and thus constitute the documented commitment of any conformant agency to the transformational process” Does that work? Peter From: Greenaway Nigel [mailto:Nig.Greenaway@uk.fujitsu.com] Line 380 Policy products are rather abruptly introduced here (and mentioned again in the context of a map) in the conformance table at line 384. I think the new reader could be confused by this and the description in line 380 is aligned to an agency (albeit a conformant one). I suggest something like:- “The development and management of Policy Products that formally define government-wide approaches designed to achieve the goals of citizen service transformation” (This is based on the definition at line 533 and I think is clearer than the present text). Regards Nig Nig Greenaway Government Division FUJITSU SERVICES Lovelace Road, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 8SN Tel: +44 (0) 843 354 5637 Internal: 7302 5637 Mob : +44 (0) 7867 833147 Internal: 7383 3147 E-mail: nig.greenaway@uk.fujitsu.com Fujitsu Services Limited, Registered in England no 96056, Registered Office 22 Baker Street, London, W1U 3BW This e-mail is only for the use of its intended recipient. Its contents are subject to a duty of confidence and may be privileged. Fujitsu Services does not guarantee that this e-mail has not been intercepted and amended or that it is virus-free. |
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