RE: [election-services] EML TOP REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL APPROVAL

["Paul Spencer" <paul.spencer@boynings.co.uk>]

I also like it, but would add to Richard's comments:

 

1. On page 1, the "smart quote" for '08 should be a closing, rather than an opening quote.

 

2. On page 2, the bullets for "As an election administrator" are larger than the others.

 

3. Also in this group, it would be better if, in the last bullet, the second line was indented to match the start of the first (i.e. "Political" is aligned with "I want").

 

4. On pp2,4, should the URL at the bottom point to the E&VSTC page?

 

5. p2, 4th group, 3rd bullet, the "so I can" looks slightly wrong. This might just be an optical illusion, or it could be that there are multiple spaces or the font changes.

 

6. pp3,4: again, I would align the word wraps for the headings so that the number stand out.

 

7. At the end of page 4, I would change the wording to: "For more information and the "Case for EML" white paper, see the OASIS Voter Services website: http://www...". That leaves out the repeated "the" and puts the URL at the end, where I think it looks better. I would also leave the URL the same colour as the rest of the text.

 

8. Should we find somewhere to put in a paragraph about OASIS and its relationship with EML? Perhaps right at the end in a smaller font?

 

Regards

 

Paul

-----Original Message-----
From: Richard J Cardone [mailto:richcar@us.ibm.com]
Sent: 30 November 2008 19:25
To: John Borras
Cc: Carol Geyer; EML TC
Subject: Re: [election-services] EML TOP REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL APPROVAL

John,

The document is polished and very appealing.  Here are some typographical checks and minor text changes that might be considered:

1. Page 2, the "As an Election Administrator" heading appears to be in a larger font than the other headings on the same page.
2. Page 2, the 3rd bullet under "As an Election Manager" uses a different font for the last two letters of the last word ("solution").
3. Page 3, heading 1 can be shortened to "Verifiable Elections and Referendums".
4. Page 3, heading 1, bullet 3, might read, "Allows end-to-end implementation of audit and control mechanisms".
5. Page 3, heading 3, can be shortened to "Supports Paper and Electronic Ballots".
6. Page 3, heading 4, bullet 1 should be split into 2 bullets at the semi-colon.  

Rich

John Borras <johnaborras@yahoo.co.uk>

11/30/2008 05:52 AM

To	EML TC <election-services@lists.oasis-open.org>
cc	Carol Geyer <carol.geyer@oasis-open.org>
Subject	[election-services] EML TOP REASONS DOCUMENT - FINAL APPROVAL

Following some very good design work by David W we've now come up the attached as the final version of the Top Reasons document.  The text is as per the last round of discussions; all that's changed now is the layout and presentation.
 
We've debated this at length over the last few weeks and therefore I don't see the need to hold a formal ballot to approve it's publication. So unless I hear any objections by the end of this week, ie by 5th December, I'll go ahead and publish it on the TC website and other OASIS outlets.  I hope you will also send it to your contacts.
 
Thanks to all for the input, I think we now have a very good publicity document that will help sell our message.

Regards
John


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