Proofing comments

[Patrick Durusau <patrick@durusau.net>]

Greetings!

Reading from back to front:

Page, line number, comment

209, 7265, Empty section "B. Non-Normative Text"

207, 7244, voice, revise - Suggest: lose ", but any which are consumed must conform to this standard." -Redundant. To be an ICOM object it has to conform to the standard. Implementations can consume non-ICOM objects so this isn't well-founded.


207, 7238, end line with colon ":"

207, 7233, end line with colon ":"

207, 7229-7230 - remove: " , but any which are produced to be managed by an ICOM service provider, must conform to this standard. "
- already defined as ICOM objects -

207, 7214-7215 - Why examples of optional statements? Aren't these marked as optional in Section 4? In other words, why say "optional" here?

207, 7211-7212 - Why examples of optional statements? Aren't these marked as optional in Section 3? In other words, why say "optional" here?

207, 7208-7209 - wording, suggest: "An ICOM environment may include multiple service providers, each of which provides different subsets of extension modules."

206, 7205 - wording, suggest: "for classes and super classes defined by such extension module.

206, 7202, end line with colon ":"

206, 7190, end line with colon ":"

206, 7186, end line with colon ":"

206, 7183, We say "by use case roles" here but never mention them in the following clauses? BTW, conformance is defined by this standard.

206, 7177, "to be managed by" -> "managed by"

206, 7170, "is defined in terms of the..." -> "is defined using..."

205 - We do define "Multi," "Read Write," "True," "False" at some point. Yes?

205, 7156,  icom_meta:property is a call back to line 2204 - 3.6.2 Property

Probably not worth the effort at this point but better hyperlinking in a future version between references and their definitions would be good.

205, 7133, "sign on keys" -> "keys" ("sign on" may or may not describe activation of a role setting. It is just a key.)

204, 7102, "is defined by" -> has the attribute values:

204, 7100, "contains roles for a conference." -> defines role settings for conference participants."

203, 7056, "is defined by" -> has the attribute values:

203, 7047-7050, I would delete: "to express that" and leave "a conference session ended after the host left" and similar revisions on the following lines.

Sorry I did not pick this up in time to finish for this meeting. Will complete by the next ICOM meeting.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Patrick

PS: Talk you to soon, breaking to eat lunch early! ;-)

-- 
Patrick Durusau
patrick@durusau.net
Chair, V1 - US TAG to JTC 1/SC 34
Convener, JTC 1/SC 34/WG 3 (Topic Maps)
Editor, OpenDocument Format TC (OASIS), Project Editor ISO/IEC 26300
Co-Editor, ISO/IEC 13250-1, 13250-5 (Topic Maps)

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Homepage: http://www.durusau.net
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