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Subject: [OASIS Issue Tracker] (MQTT-417) WD11 Review comments by Konstantin
[ https://issues.oasis-open.org/browse/MQTT-417?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:all-tabpanel ]
Konstantin Dotchkoff updated MQTT-417:
--------------------------------------
Description:
Review still in progress - more comments will be added to this issue
1. General comment about formatting of the headings:
The formatting of the headings in Word needs to be fixed in general to show correctly in the Navigation pane. If you open the navigation pane (which I typically use), it shows many irrelevant lines as a heading.
2. Line 40:
"At least once", where messages are assured to arrive but duplicates can occur.
Insert comma after arrive -->
"At least once", where messages are assured to arrive, but duplicates can occur.
3. Line 345:
Organization of MQTT
suggest to rename to --> Organization of the specification
4. Line 365 – 368:
• Publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
• Subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
• Unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
• Close the Network Connection to the Server.
Since this is a continuation of the sentence I suggest to use small caps -->
• publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
• subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
• unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
• close the Network Connection to the Server.
5. Line 393:
and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and Non-Shared Subscriptions.
suggest to change to -->
and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and regular (non-shared) Subscriptions.
6. Line 415:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
7. Line 420:
use caps for Client and Server
8. Line 599:
receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them it MAY close the
add comma after them -->
receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them, it MAY close the
9. Line 620:
Thus each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
add comma after Thus -->
Thus, each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
10. Line 662:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
11. Line 663:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
12. Line 663:
Where used the data consists only of the data portion of the field…
add comma after “Where used” -->
Where used, the data consists only of the data portion of the field
13. Line 675:
secure communications options
suggest to change to -->
secure communication options
14. Line 682:
suggest to add “, where x.x.x is the specification section number and y is statement counter within this section.” at the end of the sentence.
15. Line 708:
need to update section reference number
16. Line 720:
Table 2-2
What is the reason for Bit 1 = 1 for PUBREL, SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE?
17. Line 723:
Do we need to add something like “A length of zero indicates that there are no bytes remaining in the packet.”?
18. Line 759
should it be Client-Server pairs (instead of Client Server pairs)?
19. Line 778:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
20. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 131 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
21. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 140 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
22. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 150 – add PUBACK and PUBREC in the packets column
23. Line 808:
need to update section reference number
24. Line 836:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
25. Line 859:
delete additional space character after “Return Code”
26. Line 892:
Return Code 0x00 0x04 --> Return Code 0x00 or 0x04
27. Line 911:
Cap for Client (instead client)
28. Line 931:
This is true only if the Server supports retain. This statement must be changed to say the Server MUST do this only if it returns Retain available on the CONNACK.
29. Line 967:
use cap for Client (instead of client)
30. Line 978:
change formatting of the section number
31. Line 994-995:
The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24].
This can be misinterpreted. To assure clarity of a normative statement, I suggest to add that they need to store the state according to the Session Expiry Interval -->
The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24], if the Session doesn’t expire or for the duration of the Session Expiry Interval, if specified.
32. Line 1062:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
33. Line 1073:
change formatting of the section number
34. Line 1079:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
35. Line 1087:
delete additional space character after “acknowledgements”
36. Line 1088:
delete additional space character after “SHOULD NOT”
37. Line 1103:
change formatting of the section number
38. Line 1118:
consider replacing “this is a Protocol Error” with “it is a Protocol Error”
39. Line 1133:
change formatting of the section number
40. Line 1140:
should we say “send a Topic Alias in a PUBLISH packet to the Client that will cause to exceed the Topic Alias Maximum sent by the Client”?
41. Line 1146:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
42. Line 1161:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
43. Line 1171:
or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, uses a DISCONNECT packet
--> or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, it uses a DISCONNECT packet
44. Line 1182:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
45. Line 1187:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
46. Line 1190:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
47. Line 1197:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
48. Line 1198:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
49. Line 1201
Figure 3-6
missing example properties for byte 14, 15 and 16
50. Line 1235
re “When the Session Expiry Interval is long” – not only if it’s long, but if the Session expires later (doesn’t matter for how long).
51. Line 1251:
delete additional space characters between the two sentences
52. Line 1253:
including earlier versions of this protocol
suggest to use this --> including other versions of the MQTT protocol
53. Line 1254:
MQTTv5.0 --> MQTT v5.0
54. Line 1260:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
55. Line 1272:
suggest to use “DISCONNECT packet on the existing Client connection with Return Code of 0x8E”
56. Line 1295
suggest to add “, unless it has set Auth method.” to the sentence.
57. Line 1377:
Session Expiry Interval set to 0 - This should be Clean Start set to 1. The Session Expiry Interval from a previous session has an influence, but I suggest to reword by emphasizing on the previous session and saying that if the Server has a Session that hasn’t expired, then it MUST set Session Present to 1 otherwise 0.
58. Line 1357:
use cap Server instead of server
59. Line 1362:
use cap Server instead of server
60. Line 1372:
Table 3-1
Value 154 should be “Retain not supported” as in Table 2-4
Description: Suggest to use ”The Server doesn’t support Retain messages.”
61. Line 1382:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
62. Line 1388:
change formatting of the section number
63. Line 1393:
suggest to change “the number of publications” to “the number of QoS 1 and QoS 2 publications”
64. Line 1394:
suggest to break the sentence into to sentences. Second sentence starts with “It does not …”
was:
Review still in progress - more comments will be added to this issue
1. General comment about formatting of the headings:
The formatting of the headings in Word needs to be fixed in general to show correctly in the Navigation pane. If you open the navigation pane (which I typically use), it shows many irrelevant lines as a heading.
2. Line 40:
"At least once", where messages are assured to arrive but duplicates can occur.
Insert comma after arrive -->
"At least once", where messages are assured to arrive, but duplicates can occur.
3. Line 345:
Organization of MQTT
suggest to rename to --> Organization of the specification
4. Line 365 – 368:
• Publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
• Subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
• Unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
• Close the Network Connection to the Server.
Since this is a continuation of the sentence I suggest to use small caps -->
• publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
• subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
• unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
• close the Network Connection to the Server.
5. Line 393:
and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and Non-Shared Subscriptions.
suggest to change to -->
and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and regular (non-shared) Subscriptions.
6. Line 415:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
7. Line 420:
use caps for Client and Server
8. Line 599:
receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them it MAY close the
add comma after them -->
receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them, it MAY close the
9. Line 620:
Thus each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
add comma after Thus -->
Thus, each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
10. Line 662:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
11. Line 663:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
12. Line 663:
Where used the data consists only of the data portion of the field…
add comma after “Where used” -->
Where used, the data consists only of the data portion of the field
13. Line 675:
secure communications options
suggest to change to -->
secure communication options
14. Line 682:
suggest to add “, where x.x.x is the specification section number and y is statement counter within this section.” at the end of the sentence.
15. Line 708:
need to update section reference number
16. Line 720:
Table 2-2
What is the reason for Bit 1 = 1 for PUBREL, SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE?
17. Line 723:
Do we need to add something like “A length of zero indicates that there are no bytes remaining in the packet.”?
18. Line 759
should it be Client-Server pairs (instead of Client Server pairs)?
19. Line 778:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
20. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 131 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
21. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 140 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
22. Line 781:
Table 2-4
Value 150 – add PUBACK and PUBREC in the packets column
23. Line 808:
need to update section reference number
24. Line 836:
delete additional space character between the two sentences.
25. Line 859:
delete additional space character after “Return Code”
26. Line 892:
Return Code 0x00 0x04 --> Return Code 0x00 or 0x04
27. Line 911:
Cap for Client (instead client)
28. Line 931:
This is true only if the Server supports retain. This statement must be changed to say the Server MUST do this only if it returns Retain available on the CONNACK.
29. Line 967:
use cap for Client (instead of client)
30. Line 978:
change formatting of the section number
31. Line 994-995:
The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24].
This can be misinterpreted. To assure clarity of a normative statement, I suggest to add that they need to store the state according to the Session Expiry Interval -->
The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24], if the Session doesn’t expire or for the duration of the Session Expiry Interval, if specified.
32. Line 1062:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
33. Line 1073:
change formatting of the section number
34. Line 1079:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
35. Line 1087:
delete additional space character after “acknowledgements”
36. Line 1088:
delete additional space character after “SHOULD NOT”
37. Line 1103:
change formatting of the section number
38. Line 1118:
consider replacing “this is a Protocol Error” with “it is a Protocol Error”
39. Line 1133:
change formatting of the section number
40. Line 1140:
should we say “send a Topic Alias in a PUBLISH packet to the Client that will cause to exceed the Topic Alias Maximum sent by the Client”?
41. Line 1146:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
42. Line 1161:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
43. Line 1171:
or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, uses a DISCONNECT packet
--> or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, it uses a DISCONNECT packet
44. Line 1182:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
45. Line 1187:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
46. Line 1190:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
47. Line 1197:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
48. Line 1198:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
49. Line 1201
Figure 3-6
missing example properties for byte 14, 15 and 16
50. Line 1235
re “When the Session Expiry Interval is long” – not only if it’s long, but if the Session expires later (doesn’t matter for how long).
51. Line 1251:
delete additional space characters between the two sentences
52. Line 1253:
including earlier versions of this protocol
suggest to use this --> including other versions of the MQTT protocol
53. Line 1254:
MQTTv5.0 --> MQTT v5.0
54. Line 1260:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
55. Line 1272:
suggest to use “DISCONNECT packet on the existing Client connection with Return Code of 0x8E”
56. Line 1295
suggest to add “, unless it has set Auth method.” to the sentence.
57. Line 1337:
Session Expiry Interval set to 0 - This should be Clean Start set to 1. The Session Expiry Interval from a previous session has an influence, but I suggest to reword by emphasizing on the previous session and saying that if the Server has a Session that hasn’t expired, then it MUST set Session Present to 1 otherwise 0.
58. Line 1357:
use cap Server instead of server
59. Line 1362:
use cap Server instead of server
60. Line 1372:
Table 3-1
Value 154 should be “Retain not supported” as in Table 2-4
Description: Suggest to use ”The Server doesn’t support Retain messages.”
61. Line 1382:
delete additional space character between the two sentences
62. Line 1388:
change formatting of the section number
63. Line 1393:
suggest to change “the number of publications” to “the number of QoS 1 and QoS 2 publications”
64. Line 1394:
suggest to break the sentence into to sentences. Second sentence starts with “It does not …”
> WD11 Review comments by Konstantin
> ----------------------------------
>
> Key: MQTT-417
> URL: https://issues.oasis-open.org/browse/MQTT-417
> Project: OASIS Message Queuing Telemetry Transport (MQTT) TC
> Issue Type: Bug
> Components: edits
> Affects Versions: 5, wd11
> Reporter: Konstantin Dotchkoff
> Assignee: Konstantin Dotchkoff
> Priority: Trivial
> Labels: editorial
>
> Review still in progress - more comments will be added to this issue
> 1. General comment about formatting of the headings:
> The formatting of the headings in Word needs to be fixed in general to show correctly in the Navigation pane. If you open the navigation pane (which I typically use), it shows many irrelevant lines as a heading.
> 2. Line 40:
> "At least once", where messages are assured to arrive but duplicates can occur.
> Insert comma after arrive -->
> "At least once", where messages are assured to arrive, but duplicates can occur.
> 3. Line 345:
> Organization of MQTT
> suggest to rename to --> Organization of the specification
> 4. Line 365 – 368:
> • Publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
> • Subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
> • Unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
> • Close the Network Connection to the Server.
> Since this is a continuation of the sentence I suggest to use small caps -->
> • publish Application Messages that other Clients might be interested in.
> • subscribe to request Application Messages that it is interested in receiving.
> • unsubscribe to remove a request for Application Messages.
> • close the Network Connection to the Server.
> 5. Line 393:
> and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and Non-Shared Subscriptions.
> suggest to change to -->
> and can contain both Shared Subscriptions and regular (non-shared) Subscriptions.
> 6. Line 415:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences.
> 7. Line 420:
> use caps for Client and Server
> 8. Line 599:
> receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them it MAY close the
> add comma after them -->
> receiver (Server or Client) receives an MQTT Control Packet containing any of them, it MAY close the
> 9. Line 620:
> Thus each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
> add comma after Thus -->
> Thus, each byte encodes 128 values and a "continuation bit".
> 10. Line 662:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences.
> 11. Line 663:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences.
> 12. Line 663:
> Where used the data consists only of the data portion of the field…
> add comma after “Where used” -->
> Where used, the data consists only of the data portion of the field
> 13. Line 675:
> secure communications options
> suggest to change to -->
> secure communication options
> 14. Line 682:
> suggest to add “, where x.x.x is the specification section number and y is statement counter within this section.” at the end of the sentence.
> 15. Line 708:
> need to update section reference number
> 16. Line 720:
> Table 2-2
> What is the reason for Bit 1 = 1 for PUBREL, SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE?
> 17. Line 723:
> Do we need to add something like “A length of zero indicates that there are no bytes remaining in the packet.”?
> 18. Line 759
> should it be Client-Server pairs (instead of Client Server pairs)?
> 19. Line 778:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences.
> 20. Line 781:
> Table 2-4
> Value 131 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
> 21. Line 781:
> Table 2-4
> Value 140 – add DISCONNECT in the packets column
> 22. Line 781:
> Table 2-4
> Value 150 – add PUBACK and PUBREC in the packets column
> 23. Line 808:
> need to update section reference number
> 24. Line 836:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences.
> 25. Line 859:
> delete additional space character after “Return Code”
> 26. Line 892:
> Return Code 0x00 0x04 --> Return Code 0x00 or 0x04
> 27. Line 911:
> Cap for Client (instead client)
> 28. Line 931:
> This is true only if the Server supports retain. This statement must be changed to say the Server MUST do this only if it returns Retain available on the CONNACK.
> 29. Line 967:
> use cap for Client (instead of client)
> 30. Line 978:
> change formatting of the section number
> 31. Line 994-995:
> The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24].
> This can be misinterpreted. To assure clarity of a normative statement, I suggest to add that they need to store the state according to the Session Expiry Interval -->
> The Client and Server MUST store the Session after the Network Connection is closed [MQTT-3.1.2-24], if the Session doesn’t expire or for the duration of the Session Expiry Interval, if specified.
> 32. Line 1062:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 33. Line 1073:
> change formatting of the section number
> 34. Line 1079:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 35. Line 1087:
> delete additional space character after “acknowledgements”
> 36. Line 1088:
> delete additional space character after “SHOULD NOT”
> 37. Line 1103:
> change formatting of the section number
> 38. Line 1118:
> consider replacing “this is a Protocol Error” with “it is a Protocol Error”
> 39. Line 1133:
> change formatting of the section number
> 40. Line 1140:
> should we say “send a Topic Alias in a PUBLISH packet to the Client that will cause to exceed the Topic Alias Maximum sent by the Client”?
> 41. Line 1146:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 42. Line 1161:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 43. Line 1171:
> or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, uses a DISCONNECT packet
> --> or User Properties in a packet other than CONNACK or DISCONNECT, it uses a DISCONNECT packet
> 44. Line 1182:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 45. Line 1187:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 46. Line 1190:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 47. Line 1197:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 48. Line 1198:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 49. Line 1201
> Figure 3-6
> missing example properties for byte 14, 15 and 16
> 50. Line 1235
> re “When the Session Expiry Interval is long” – not only if it’s long, but if the Session expires later (doesn’t matter for how long).
> 51. Line 1251:
> delete additional space characters between the two sentences
> 52. Line 1253:
> including earlier versions of this protocol
> suggest to use this --> including other versions of the MQTT protocol
> 53. Line 1254:
> MQTTv5.0 --> MQTT v5.0
> 54. Line 1260:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 55. Line 1272:
> suggest to use “DISCONNECT packet on the existing Client connection with Return Code of 0x8E”
> 56. Line 1295
> suggest to add “, unless it has set Auth method.” to the sentence.
> 57. Line 1377:
> Session Expiry Interval set to 0 - This should be Clean Start set to 1. The Session Expiry Interval from a previous session has an influence, but I suggest to reword by emphasizing on the previous session and saying that if the Server has a Session that hasn’t expired, then it MUST set Session Present to 1 otherwise 0.
> 58. Line 1357:
> use cap Server instead of server
> 59. Line 1362:
> use cap Server instead of server
> 60. Line 1372:
> Table 3-1
> Value 154 should be “Retain not supported” as in Table 2-4
> Description: Suggest to use ”The Server doesn’t support Retain messages.”
> 61. Line 1382:
> delete additional space character between the two sentences
> 62. Line 1388:
> change formatting of the section number
> 63. Line 1393:
> suggest to change “the number of publications” to “the number of QoS 1 and QoS 2 publications”
> 64. Line 1394:
> suggest to break the sentence into to sentences. Second sentence starts with “It does not …”
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