RE: [pbd-se] Groups - pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx uploaded

[Fred Carter <Fred.Carter@ipc.on.ca>]

Regrettably, this version does not reflect any of the suggested edits circulated by the IPC to the group on Friday, June 6^th

See attached.

 

From: pbd-se@lists.oasis-open.org [mailto:pbd-se@lists.oasis-open.org] On Behalf Of Dawn Jutla
Sent: Tuesday, June 10, 2014 7:52 AM
To: pbd-se@lists.oasis-open.org
Subject: [pbd-se] Groups - pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx uploaded

 

Submitter's message
Clean copy - Updated with TC edits received to June 10, 2014.
-- Dr. Dawn Jutla

Document Name: pbd-se-v1 0-wd04 R2.docx

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Description
Working Draft - Clean copy
Download Latest Revision
Public Download Link

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Submitter: Dr. Dawn Jutla
Group: OASIS Privacy by Design Documentation for Software Engineers (PbD-SE) TC
Folder: Documents
Date submitted: 2014-06-10 04:51:27

 

--- Begin Message ---

• From: Fred Carter <Fred.Carter@ipc.on.ca>
• To: "'Dawn Jutla (dawn.jutla@gmail.com)'" <dawn.jutla@gmail.com>, "Michelle Chibba" <Michelle.Chibba@ipc.on.ca>
• Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2014 20:37:54 +0000

Dawn,

Attached are some editorial touch-ups to the new draft spec version, showing all revisions.

Basically, I have:

·         Fixed a couple small typos (e.g. dates of publication, missing periods)

·         Fixed some formatting (e.g. colored fonts, paragraph spacing, etc)

·         removed some duplication (e.g. “(PbD)” and “(FIPPs)”)

·         made more consistent certain key terms, notably

o   Privacy by Design (vs. “privacy-by-design”, “privacy by design”, and “Privacy by Design” unless part of a document title,
and

o   “personal data” vs “personal information or “personally-identifiable information”

·         Made minor corrections to the PbD principles and discussion in Section 2 and to the “Sub-Principles” in section 4

·         There are also a couple comments embedded regarding use of some terminology, e.g. PbD requirements

·         The revised document is attached and renamed pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

Thanks, Fred

 

Attachment: pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx
Description: pbd-se-v1 0-wd04R1+fc.docx

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