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Subject: RE: [sdd] 2.10.2


My tinkering isn't intended to change the meaning of the rewrite. For the first suggestion, I just find the phrasing "must support defining requirements" a little less easy to read than "must support definition of requirements".
 
(Unendearing writerly nitpicking follows.)
 
As for the second suggestion, John's phrasing---
 
"requirements for deploying solution resources to and configuring resources in distributed [...] locations"
 
---seems to be shorthand for---
 
"requirements for deploying solution resources to distributed locations and configuring resources in distributed locations."
 
My comment is just that "to and" came as a surprise when parsing the sentence. My first impulse is to put commas or em dashes or parentheses around "and configuring resources in", and the suggestion I sent tries to sidestep the extra punctuation.
 


From: Julia McCarthy [mailto:julia@us.ibm.com]
Sent: Friday, 03 March 2006 10:26 am
To: Robert Dickau
Cc: Patton, John H; sdd@lists.oasis-open.org
Subject: RE: [sdd] 2.10.2

Robert, could you be more explicit about your suggestion?


Julia McCarthy
Autonomic Computing Enablement
julia@us.ibm.com
Tie/Line 349/8156
877-261-0391


Inactive hide details for "Robert Dickau" <rdickau@macrovision.com>"Robert Dickau" <rdickau@macrovision.com>


          "Robert Dickau" <rdickau@macrovision.com>

          03/03/2006 10:50 AM


To

"Patton, John H" <John.Patton@ca.com>, <sdd@lists.oasis-open.org>

cc


Subject

RE: [sdd] 2.10.2

Agreed that this suggestion is an improvement over mushy "must support the ability for the author to define specify [sic] a means to...".


Further tinkering ("defining"-->"definition of", trying to avoid tricky-to-parse "deploying...to and configuring...in"):

2.10.2
The SDD specification must support definition of requirements for deploying and configuring solution resources even across distributed and administratively separate locations.


From: Patton, John H [mailto:John.Patton@ca.com]
Sent:
Thursday, 02 March 2006 8:03 pm
To:
sdd@lists.oasis-open.org
Subject:
[sdd] 2.10.2

Original
2.10.2
The SDD specification must support the ability for the author to define specify a means to acquire external requirements even if they reside in distributed and administratively separated locations.

My suggestion
2.10.2
The SDD specification must support defining requirements for deploying solution resources to and configuring resources in distributed and administratively separate locations.

I think this satisfies UC 151 a bit more.

cheers,

/john patton/

--
c
a
Senior Software Engineer
Office: 630 505-6150

Cell: 847-224-9196

john.patton@ca.com



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