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Subject: Public review comments - saml-session-token-v1.0-csprd01


Most of this is minor editorial comments, with some comments on the content.

line 12 - two right brackets on reference [RFC2965]].
Section 1.2 - Five references using "et al." - each one is wrong -
format is "J. Doe et al., Title of Work"
line 23 - citing a working draft as a normative reference can delay
progress to OASIS Standard
line 51 - need proper citation format for OASIS Standard
line 86 - Figure 3 - since the flow depicted by the arrow DOES NOT
happen, it might make sense to indicate this by a big "X" or something
line 149 - missing period at end.
Section 3 - might benefit from something like a ladder diagram to
provide more detail on the sequence of messages flowing among SA,
browser, and SC. This could be referenced in later sections.
line 283 - references in brackets should come before the period.
Line 449 - remove word "use"
line 450 - insert "the" before "past"
451 - lower case "R" in Running; it would be helpful to have a
reference. Also, you might mean "published" instead of "publicized"?
455 - remove second "yet"
458 - Phrase ending in [RFC2965] is not a complete sentence.
460-464 - weak discussion - maybe re-write in terms of
"man-in-the-middle attack"
465 - sever --> server

Useful spec!


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