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Subject: [OASIS Issue Tracker] Updated: (SOAEERP-7) PR08 - from Rex Brooks:Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03
[ http://tools.oasis-open.org/issues/browse/SOAEERP-7?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:all-tabpanel ] Paul Yang updated SOAEERP-7: ----------------------------- Summary: PR08 - from Rex Brooks: Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03 (was: PR07 - from Rex Brooks: Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03) > PR08 - from Rex Brooks: Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03 > ------------------------------------------------------------- > > Key: SOAEERP-7 > URL: http://tools.oasis-open.org/issues/browse/SOAEERP-7 > Project: OASIS Service-Oriented Architecture End-to-End Resource Planning (SOA-EERP) TC > Issue Type: Improvement > Components: PR Comments > Reporter: Paul Yang > Assignee: William Cox > > Rex Brooks sent following comments on 4/2/2010: > Greetings, > Sorry I found myself overextended, so needed to curtail my participation > in the SOA-EERP TC. However, I applaud the improvements you have made in > these specifications. I am copying the SOA Reference Model TC and the > SOA Reference Architecture SC to keep them apprised of my comments. I > will start with the White Paper, then address bQoS, bSLA and Rating. I > am making my comments based on the pdf versions. > For the SOA RM TC and SOA RM RA SC I am providing the announcement url > that can be used for downloading these documents: > http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/soa-eerp/email/archives/201002/msg00000.html > I have designated errors and/or suggestions with _*boldface and > underlined text.*_ > * > General Comment:* If any of these specifications will start their > abbreviations with a lower case "b" as is done in bQoS, then I think > they should all start their abbreviations with a lower case "b" as in > bRating and bSLA for the sake of consistency, or else the lower case "b" > should be dropped as in QoS, Rating, SLA. > EERP-Model-UseCase-WhitePaper-cd03 > Section: *EERP Technology* > * I would like to commend you on the explanation given in > SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:* > * Specifically, I am very pleased that "The focus of the SOA-EERP > Technical Committee is on enablers for optimization and process > improvement rather than on the complete EERP environment." This > was an unspoken concern of mine early on, and it puts the entire > complement of specifications into a sound perspective. (Note: I > didn't intend to start with agreement and commendation. I must be > slipping!") > * In the second paragraph of SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization: > *the parenthetical phrase "(how to represent cost, time, and > cost)," is clumsy. Perhaps "(how to represent cost, time, and > intended result)," might be better. (Note: the term we use in the > SOA-RAF for intended "result" would be intended "Real World Effect.") > * Suggestion for next to last paragraph of SubSection: *Status of > Standards Process:* "These XML vocabulary specifications address > the exchange of information that models the business > characteristics of a service, permits assertions or queries > related to the credibility of the service and its provider, and > the establishment of agreements about the _*use of*_ business service. > Section: *Conceptual Framework and Message Flow* > * First and second sentences in Paragraph three of SubSection: > "Service providers *offer* business services. Each service > provider may *offer* the same service but with different bQoS and > Ratings." "provider(s) provide" is just a bit clumsy--stylistic > consideration only. > * Note: It appears that an EERP Portal is required. Is this so? If > so, please explain why in this section. This could be more than > some smaller service providers are willing or able to afford, and > requiring third party facilities could be problematic--though I am > personally requiring a similar third party facility in a Network > Centric Pattern (NCP) in the Network Centric Operations Industry > Consortium (NCOIC) All Hazards Alert and Warning Capabilities > (AHAW) NCP in the form of a SOA Registry-Repository for Service > Providers and Consumers to find each other, share Service > Descriptions and acquire the contact information necessary to > begin negotiations for establishing Service Level Agreements (SLAs). > * /Description/ column entries for numbers 5 through 12 of the > Tabular presentation of messages in SubSection: *Message Exchange > Example:* are in a larger text size than the rest of the tabular > material. > * /Description/ for number 8 in tabular presentation of messages in > SubSection: Message Exchange Example needs correction : ...*SLA* > Request message... > * /Description/ for number 11 in tabular presentation of messages in > SubSection: *Message Exchange Example*: doesn't make sense to me: > "Service Requester sends SLA Request message to the Service > Providers to obtain the commitments from the Service Providers > _*f**or those no SLA service in the set*_". > * Suggestion: in last paragraph on page 10 SubSection: Message > Exchange Example: "We conclude this section with a _*sequence*_ > diagram." > Section: *A Guided Tour through the XML Vocabulary Specifications* > * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in third > paragraph: "EERP Business Rating of Services Specification is an > XML vocabulary for information exchange on business > _*credibility*_, reliability and reputation of the service > providers. The _*credibility*_, reliability and reputation..." > * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in > paragraph four "...and to select _*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution." > * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in > paragraph five "...EERP Business Service Level Agreement for > *(BSLA)*" should reflect the resolution of the *General Comment* > above. Also the words "and evaluate" are in a different font for > no apparent reason, so should be changed to match the style of the > rest of the paragraph. > * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in > paragraph six: *BSLA* occurs again, please follow resolution of > *General Comment *above. > * Suggestion: in SubSection: *EERP Business Quality of Service > (bQoS) Specification and Schema:* BQoS occurs several times and > should be consistent with resolution of *General Comment *above. > * Page 15 in first paragraph of Section: *EERP Business Service > Level Agreement Specification:* 2nd line: "... service provider > for a give service." should be "...service provider for a > _*given*_ service." > Note: I did not attempt to validate or otherwise test the XML Schemas or > Examples for the White Paper or the Specifications. I will validate the > schemas separately and only report if I discover problems. I won't test > the examples. > SOA-EERP-bQoS-Spec-cd03.pdf > * Line 6: grammatical error: "...improve business results. It models > the business process and the range of potential services, then > _*guides*_..." > * Line 10: grammatical error: "..._*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution." > * Line 94: Incorrect url: > http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-bqos/200903/eerp-bqos.xsd > Current Correct Link: > *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/bqos/v1.0/EERP-bQoS-cd03.xsd* > * Lines 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 144, 145: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 148, 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 188: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 275: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 327: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 340: grammatical error: "... This is an extensibility > mechanism to allow different (extensible) _*properties*_..." > * Lines 451, 452 and 453 are formatted in a different typeface/font > from the style used throughout the rest of specification for that > kind of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Lines 465-467: grammatical errors: "... implementation silently > _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is > allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any > element is allowed, _*it*_ should be considered as interoperable > implementation." > * Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all > items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow > additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX > element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future > versions of the specification should be considered before > developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be > deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized > attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored." > SOA-EERP-Rating-Specification.pdf > * Line 3: Suggestion "... information exchange on business > *credibility *reliability and reputation..." > * Line 8: Suggestiion "The *credibility*, reliability and reputation..." > * Line 85: Suggestion: "_*The XML vocabulary for Business Rating is > defined in the XML Schema for this specification with several > specific rating measurement indicators.*_" > * Line 89: Incorrect Link: > http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-rating/200903/eerp-rating.xsd > Current Correct Link: > *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/rt/v1.0/EERP-Rating-cd03.xsd* > * Lines 111-113 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Lines 111-113: grammatical error (111, 112) and suggestion (112): > "Performance:QualityAssestionEvaluation that will _*provide*_ a > mechanism for Service Rating Entities to _*render*_ their > evaluation for how well the Service Provider _*fulfills*_ the > Quality Assertion(s) of its service." > * Line 131: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 145, 146: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized elements MAY cause > a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 157: remove white space in element name: An aggregated > number, in _*<rt:RatingNumeric>*_ element." > * Line 187: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 202, 203: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 212, 213: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 218, 219: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 226-228 re formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Lines 227, 228: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 234-235: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 284: Suggestion: "_*Unlike *_the Rating element..." > * Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 341, 342: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 351, 352: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 361, 362: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 369, 370: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 376, 377: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 383, 384: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 390, 391: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 393, 394: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_. > * Lines 453, 454 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Lines 458-460 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Lines 579-582 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Line 609-611: grammatical errors, suggestion: "...implementation > silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute > is allowed, or silently _*ignores *_unrecognized elements where > any element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable > implementation." > * Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all > items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow > additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX > element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future > versions of the specification should be considered before > developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be > deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized > attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored." > SOA-EERP-BSLA-spec-cd03.pdf > * Lines 10, 11: grammatical error: "...to select _*an*_ optimal > end-to-end solution." > * Line 106: Incorrect url: > http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-sla/200903/eerp-sla.xsd > Current Correct Link:* > http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/sla/v1.0/EERP-SLA-cd03.xsd* > * Line 110: Suggestion: "... Technical _*aspects*_ such as service > availability, accessibility, ..." > * Lines 134, 135: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 149, 150: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 156, 157: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 160, 161: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 200, 201: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 216, 217: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 220: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 262, 263: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 265, 267, 269, 271, 273, 275: Suggestion: "_*Describes*_ > available operations..." > * Lines 281, 282: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 285: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 328, 326: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 332: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY > cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 352, 353: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 360, 361: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 387, 388: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 394, 395: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 401, 402: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 408, 409: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Line 412 is formatted in a different typeface/font from the style > used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind of > body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Note the use of a different typeface for the name of elements > immediately after a Numbered Section Title in the following > example does not sufficiently emphasize the name and causes visual > dissonance, and some text passages continue using that different > typeface so, IF this is an artifact of the OASIS specification > template it would be a good idea to point it out, or else use > italic or bold for emphasis because a different typeface that is > not significantly different just looks like an unintentional error. > 5.1.1.2 CommittedTime > The Committed Time, Committed Time element of Service Level Objective > for Obligation in SLA Obligations in EERP-SLA, is the committed time > period in SLA, including Duration, Latency and Committed Completion Time. > * Lines 502, 503: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 583, 584: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 599, 600: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 628, 629: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 635, 636: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes > MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_." > * Lines 776-778 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the > style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind > of body text and should be changed to match the overall style. > * Line 806-808: grammatical errors: "...implementation silently > _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is > allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any > element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable > implementation." > Good work. This is a substantial improvement. > Cheers, > Rex > Email: rexb@starbourne.com -- This message is automatically generated by JIRA. - If you think it was sent incorrectly contact one of the administrators: http://tools.oasis-open.org/issues/secure/Administrators.jspa - For more information on JIRA, see: http://www.atlassian.com/software/jira
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