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Subject: [OASIS Issue Tracker] Updated: (SOAEERP-7) PR08 - from Rex Brooks:Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03
[ http://tools.oasis-open.org/issues/browse/SOAEERP-7?page=com.atlassian.jira.plugin.system.issuetabpanels:all-tabpanel ]
William Cox updated SOAEERP-7:
------------------------------
Fix Version/s: cd04
Affects Version/s: cd03
> PR08 - from Rex Brooks: Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03
> -------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Key: SOAEERP-7
> URL: http://tools.oasis-open.org/issues/browse/SOAEERP-7
> Project: OASIS Service-Oriented Architecture End-to-End Resource Planning (SOA-EERP) TC
> Issue Type: Improvement
> Components: PR01 Comments
> Affects Versions: cd03
> Reporter: Paul Yang
> Assignee: William Cox
> Fix For: cd04
>
>
> Rex Brooks sent following comments on 4/2/2010:
> Greetings,
> Sorry I found myself overextended, so needed to curtail my participation
> in the SOA-EERP TC. However, I applaud the improvements you have made in
> these specifications. I am copying the SOA Reference Model TC and the
> SOA Reference Architecture SC to keep them apprised of my comments. I
> will start with the White Paper, then address bQoS, bSLA and Rating. I
> am making my comments based on the pdf versions.
> For the SOA RM TC and SOA RM RA SC I am providing the announcement url
> that can be used for downloading these documents:
> http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/soa-eerp/email/archives/201002/msg00000.html
> I have designated errors and/or suggestions with _*boldface and
> underlined text.*_
> *
> General Comment:* If any of these specifications will start their
> abbreviations with a lower case "b" as is done in bQoS, then I think
> they should all start their abbreviations with a lower case "b" as in
> bRating and bSLA for the sake of consistency, or else the lower case "b"
> should be dropped as in QoS, Rating, SLA.
> EERP-Model-UseCase-WhitePaper-cd03
> Section: *EERP Technology*
> * I would like to commend you on the explanation given in
> SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:*
> * Specifically, I am very pleased that "The focus of the SOA-EERP
> Technical Committee is on enablers for optimization and process
> improvement rather than on the complete EERP environment." This
> was an unspoken concern of mine early on, and it puts the entire
> complement of specifications into a sound perspective. (Note: I
> didn't intend to start with agreement and commendation. I must be
> slipping!")
> * In the second paragraph of SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:
> *the parenthetical phrase "(how to represent cost, time, and
> cost)," is clumsy. Perhaps "(how to represent cost, time, and
> intended result)," might be better. (Note: the term we use in the
> SOA-RAF for intended "result" would be intended "Real World Effect.")
> * Suggestion for next to last paragraph of SubSection: *Status of
> Standards Process:* "These XML vocabulary specifications address
> the exchange of information that models the business
> characteristics of a service, permits assertions or queries
> related to the credibility of the service and its provider, and
> the establishment of agreements about the _*use of*_ business service.
> Section: *Conceptual Framework and Message Flow*
> * First and second sentences in Paragraph three of SubSection:
> "Service providers *offer* business services. Each service
> provider may *offer* the same service but with different bQoS and
> Ratings." "provider(s) provide" is just a bit clumsy--stylistic
> consideration only.
> * Note: It appears that an EERP Portal is required. Is this so? If
> so, please explain why in this section. This could be more than
> some smaller service providers are willing or able to afford, and
> requiring third party facilities could be problematic--though I am
> personally requiring a similar third party facility in a Network
> Centric Pattern (NCP) in the Network Centric Operations Industry
> Consortium (NCOIC) All Hazards Alert and Warning Capabilities
> (AHAW) NCP in the form of a SOA Registry-Repository for Service
> Providers and Consumers to find each other, share Service
> Descriptions and acquire the contact information necessary to
> begin negotiations for establishing Service Level Agreements (SLAs).
> * /Description/ column entries for numbers 5 through 12 of the
> Tabular presentation of messages in SubSection: *Message Exchange
> Example:* are in a larger text size than the rest of the tabular
> material.
> * /Description/ for number 8 in tabular presentation of messages in
> SubSection: Message Exchange Example needs correction : ...*SLA*
> Request message...
> * /Description/ for number 11 in tabular presentation of messages in
> SubSection: *Message Exchange Example*: doesn't make sense to me:
> "Service Requester sends SLA Request message to the Service
> Providers to obtain the commitments from the Service Providers
> _*f**or those no SLA service in the set*_".
> * Suggestion: in last paragraph on page 10 SubSection: Message
> Exchange Example: "We conclude this section with a _*sequence*_
> diagram."
> Section: *A Guided Tour through the XML Vocabulary Specifications*
> * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in third
> paragraph: "EERP Business Rating of Services Specification is an
> XML vocabulary for information exchange on business
> _*credibility*_, reliability and reputation of the service
> providers. The _*credibility*_, reliability and reputation..."
> * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
> paragraph four "...and to select _*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution."
> * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
> paragraph five "...EERP Business Service Level Agreement for
> *(BSLA)*" should reflect the resolution of the *General Comment*
> above. Also the words "and evaluate" are in a different font for
> no apparent reason, so should be changed to match the style of the
> rest of the paragraph.
> * Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
> paragraph six: *BSLA* occurs again, please follow resolution of
> *General Comment *above.
> * Suggestion: in SubSection: *EERP Business Quality of Service
> (bQoS) Specification and Schema:* BQoS occurs several times and
> should be consistent with resolution of *General Comment *above.
> * Page 15 in first paragraph of Section: *EERP Business Service
> Level Agreement Specification:* 2nd line: "... service provider
> for a give service." should be "...service provider for a
> _*given*_ service."
> Note: I did not attempt to validate or otherwise test the XML Schemas or
> Examples for the White Paper or the Specifications. I will validate the
> schemas separately and only report if I discover problems. I won't test
> the examples.
> SOA-EERP-bQoS-Spec-cd03.pdf
> * Line 6: grammatical error: "...improve business results. It models
> the business process and the range of potential services, then
> _*guides*_..."
> * Line 10: grammatical error: "..._*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution."
> * Line 94: Incorrect url:
> http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-bqos/200903/eerp-bqos.xsd
> Current Correct Link:
> *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/bqos/v1.0/EERP-bQoS-cd03.xsd*
> * Lines 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 144, 145: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 148, 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 188: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 275: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 327: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 340: grammatical error: "... This is an extensibility
> mechanism to allow different (extensible) _*properties*_..."
> * Lines 451, 452 and 453 are formatted in a different typeface/font
> from the style used throughout the rest of specification for that
> kind of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Lines 465-467: grammatical errors: "... implementation silently
> _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
> allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any
> element is allowed, _*it*_ should be considered as interoperable
> implementation."
> * Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
> items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
> additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
> element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
> versions of the specification should be considered before
> developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
> deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
> attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
> SOA-EERP-Rating-Specification.pdf
> * Line 3: Suggestion "... information exchange on business
> *credibility *reliability and reputation..."
> * Line 8: Suggestiion "The *credibility*, reliability and reputation..."
> * Line 85: Suggestion: "_*The XML vocabulary for Business Rating is
> defined in the XML Schema for this specification with several
> specific rating measurement indicators.*_"
> * Line 89: Incorrect Link:
> http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-rating/200903/eerp-rating.xsd
> Current Correct Link:
> *http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/rt/v1.0/EERP-Rating-cd03.xsd*
> * Lines 111-113 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Lines 111-113: grammatical error (111, 112) and suggestion (112):
> "Performance:QualityAssestionEvaluation that will _*provide*_ a
> mechanism for Service Rating Entities to _*render*_ their
> evaluation for how well the Service Provider _*fulfills*_ the
> Quality Assertion(s) of its service."
> * Line 131: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 145, 146: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized elements MAY cause
> a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 157: remove white space in element name: An aggregated
> number, in _*<rt:RatingNumeric>*_ element."
> * Line 187: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 202, 203: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 212, 213: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 218, 219: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 226-228 re formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Lines 227, 228: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 234-235: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 284: Suggestion: "_*Unlike *_the Rating element..."
> * Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 341, 342: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 351, 352: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 361, 362: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 369, 370: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 376, 377: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 383, 384: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 390, 391: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 393, 394: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_.
> * Lines 453, 454 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Lines 458-460 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Lines 579-582 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Line 609-611: grammatical errors, suggestion: "...implementation
> silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute
> is allowed, or silently _*ignores *_unrecognized elements where
> any element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable
> implementation."
> * Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
> items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
> additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
> element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
> versions of the specification should be considered before
> developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
> deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
> attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
> SOA-EERP-BSLA-spec-cd03.pdf
> * Lines 10, 11: grammatical error: "...to select _*an*_ optimal
> end-to-end solution."
> * Line 106: Incorrect url:
> http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-sla/200903/eerp-sla.xsd
> Current Correct Link:*
> http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/sla/v1.0/EERP-SLA-cd03.xsd*
> * Line 110: Suggestion: "... Technical _*aspects*_ such as service
> availability, accessibility, ..."
> * Lines 134, 135: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 149, 150: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 156, 157: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 160, 161: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 200, 201: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 216, 217: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 220: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 262, 263: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 265, 267, 269, 271, 273, 275: Suggestion: "_*Describes*_
> available operations..."
> * Lines 281, 282: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 285: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 328, 326: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 332: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
> cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 352, 353: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 360, 361: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 387, 388: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 394, 395: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 401, 402: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 408, 409: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Line 412 is formatted in a different typeface/font from the style
> used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind of
> body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Note the use of a different typeface for the name of elements
> immediately after a Numbered Section Title in the following
> example does not sufficiently emphasize the name and causes visual
> dissonance, and some text passages continue using that different
> typeface so, IF this is an artifact of the OASIS specification
> template it would be a good idea to point it out, or else use
> italic or bold for emphasis because a different typeface that is
> not significantly different just looks like an unintentional error.
> 5.1.1.2 CommittedTime
> The Committed Time, Committed Time element of Service Level Objective
> for Obligation in SLA Obligations in EERP-SLA, is the committed time
> period in SLA, including Duration, Latency and Committed Completion Time.
> * Lines 502, 503: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 583, 584: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 599, 600: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 628, 629: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 635, 636: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
> MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
> * Lines 776-778 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
> style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
> of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
> * Line 806-808: grammatical errors: "...implementation silently
> _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
> allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any
> element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable
> implementation."
> Good work. This is a substantial improvement.
> Cheers,
> Rex
> Email: rexb@starbourne.com
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