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Subject: Comments on Public Review Drafts cd03
Greetings,
Sorry I found myself overextended, so needed to curtail my participation
in the SOA-EERP TC. However, I applaud the improvements you have made in
these specifications. I am copying the SOA Reference Model TC and the
SOA Reference Architecture SC to keep them apprised of my comments. I
will start with the White Paper, then address bQoS, bSLA and Rating. I
am making my comments based on the pdf versions.
For the SOA RM TC and SOA RM RA SC I am providing the announcement url
that can be used for downloading these documents:
http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/soa-eerp/email/archives/201002/msg00000.html
I have designated errors and/or suggestions with _*boldface and
underlined text.*_
*
General Comment:* If any of these specifications will start their
abbreviations with a lower case "b" as is done in bQoS, then I think
they should all start their abbreviations with a lower case "b" as in
bRating and bSLA for the sake of consistency, or else the lower case "b"
should be dropped as in QoS, Rating, SLA.
EERP-Model-UseCase-WhitePaper-cd03
Section: *EERP Technology*
* I would like to commend you on the explanation given in
SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:*
* Specifically, I am very pleased that "The focus of the SOA-EERP
Technical Committee is on enablers for optimization and process
improvement rather than on the complete EERP environment." This
was an unspoken concern of mine early on, and it puts the entire
complement of specifications into a sound perspective. (Note: I
didn't intend to start with agreement and commendation. I must be
slipping!")
* In the second paragraph of SubSection: *Enablers for Optimization:
*the parenthetical phrase "(how to represent cost, time, and
cost)," is clumsy. Perhaps "(how to represent cost, time, and
intended result)," might be better. (Note: the term we use in the
SOA-RAF for intended "result" would be intended "Real World Effect.")
* Suggestion for next to last paragraph of SubSection: *Status of
Standards Process:* "These XML vocabulary specifications address
the exchange of information that models the business
characteristics of a service, permits assertions or queries
related to the credibility of the service and its provider, and
the establishment of agreements about the _*use of*_ business service.
Section: *Conceptual Framework and Message Flow*
* First and second sentences in Paragraph three of SubSection:
"Service providers *offer* business services. Each service
provider may *offer* the same service but with different bQoS and
Ratings." "provider(s) provide" is just a bit clumsy--stylistic
consideration only.
* Note: It appears that an EERP Portal is required. Is this so? If
so, please explain why in this section. This could be more than
some smaller service providers are willing or able to afford, and
requiring third party facilities could be problematic--though I am
personally requiring a similar third party facility in a Network
Centric Pattern (NCP) in the Network Centric Operations Industry
Consortium (NCOIC) All Hazards Alert and Warning Capabilities
(AHAW) NCP in the form of a SOA Registry-Repository for Service
Providers and Consumers to find each other, share Service
Descriptions and acquire the contact information necessary to
begin negotiations for establishing Service Level Agreements (SLAs).
* /Description/ column entries for numbers 5 through 12 of the
Tabular presentation of messages in SubSection: *Message Exchange
Example:* are in a larger text size than the rest of the tabular
material.
* /Description/ for number 8 in tabular presentation of messages in
SubSection: Message Exchange Example needs correction : ...*SLA*
Request message...
* /Description/ for number 11 in tabular presentation of messages in
SubSection: *Message Exchange Example*: doesn't make sense to me:
"Service Requester sends SLA Request message to the Service
Providers to obtain the commitments from the Service Providers
_*f**or those no SLA service in the set*_".
* Suggestion: in last paragraph on page 10 SubSection: Message
Exchange Example: "We conclude this section with a _*sequence*_
diagram."
Section: *A Guided Tour through the XML Vocabulary Specifications*
* Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in third
paragraph: "EERP Business Rating of Services Specification is an
XML vocabulary for information exchange on business
_*credibility*_, reliability and reputation of the service
providers. The _*credibility*_, reliability and reputation..."
* Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
paragraph four "...and to select _*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution."
* Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
paragraph five "...EERP Business Service Level Agreement for
*(BSLA)*" should reflect the resolution of the *General Comment*
above. Also the words "and evaluate" are in a different font for
no apparent reason, so should be changed to match the style of the
rest of the paragraph.
* Suggestion: in SubSection: *The Three Specifications:* in
paragraph six: *BSLA* occurs again, please follow resolution of
*General Comment *above.
* Suggestion: in SubSection: *EERP Business Quality of Service
(bQoS) Specification and Schema:* BQoS occurs several times and
should be consistent with resolution of *General Comment *above.
* Page 15 in first paragraph of Section: *EERP Business Service
Level Agreement Specification:* 2nd line: "... service provider
for a give service." should be "...service provider for a
_*given*_ service."
Note: I did not attempt to validate or otherwise test the XML Schemas or
Examples for the White Paper or the Specifications. I will validate the
schemas separately and only report if I discover problems. I won't test
the examples.
SOA-EERP-bQoS-Spec-cd03.pdf
* Line 6: grammatical error: "...improve business results. It models
the business process and the range of potential services, then
_*guides*_..."
* Line 10: grammatical error: "..._*an*_ optimal end-to-end solution."
* Line 94: Incorrect url:
http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-bqos/200903/eerp-bqos.xsd
Current Correct Link:
*http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/bqos/v1.0/EERP-bQoS-cd03.xsd*
* Lines 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 144, 145: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 148, 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 188: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 275: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 327: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 340: grammatical error: "... This is an extensibility
mechanism to allow different (extensible) _*properties*_..."
* Lines 451, 452 and 453 are formatted in a different typeface/font
from the style used throughout the rest of specification for that
kind of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Lines 465-467: grammatical errors: "... implementation silently
_*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any
element is allowed, _*it*_ should be considered as interoperable
implementation."
* Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
versions of the specification should be considered before
developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
SOA-EERP-Rating-Specification.pdf
* Line 3: Suggestion "... information exchange on business
*credibility *reliability and reputation..."
* Line 8: Suggestiion "The *credibility*, reliability and reputation..."
* Line 85: Suggestion: "_*The XML vocabulary for Business Rating is
defined in the XML Schema for this specification with several
specific rating measurement indicators.*_"
* Line 89: Incorrect Link:
http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-rating/200903/eerp-rating.xsd
Current Correct Link:
*http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/rt/v1.0/EERP-Rating-cd03.xsd*
* Lines 111-113 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Lines 111-113: grammatical error (111, 112) and suggestion (112):
"Performance:QualityAssestionEvaluation that will _*provide*_ a
mechanism for Service Rating Entities to _*render*_ their
evaluation for how well the Service Provider _*fulfills*_ the
Quality Assertion(s) of its service."
* Line 131: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 137, 138: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 145, 146: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 149: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized elements MAY cause
a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 157: remove white space in element name: An aggregated
number, in _*<rt:RatingNumeric>*_ element."
* Line 187: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 202, 203: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 212, 213: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 218, 219: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 226-228 re formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Lines 227, 228: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 234-235: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 284: Suggestion: "_*Unlike *_the Rating element..."
* Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 337, 338: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 341, 342: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 351, 352: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 361, 362: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 369, 370: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 376, 377: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 383, 384: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 390, 391: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 393, 394: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_.
* Lines 453, 454 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Lines 458-460 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Lines 579-582 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Line 609-611: grammatical errors, suggestion: "...implementation
silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute
is allowed, or silently _*ignores *_unrecognized elements where
any element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable
implementation."
* Suggestion: Please consider adding the following addition to all
items that read: "This is an extensibility mechanism to allow
additional attributes, based on schemas, to be added to the abbrvX
element in the future. _*Requesting new elements for future
versions of the specification should be considered before
developing possible dependencies upon attributes which may be
deprecated in favor of such future elements.*_ Unrecognized
attributes MAY cause a fault or be silently ignored."
SOA-EERP-BSLA-spec-cd03.pdf
* Lines 10, 11: grammatical error: "...to select _*an*_ optimal
end-to-end solution."
* Line 106: Incorrect url:
http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/eerp-sla/200903/eerp-sla.xsd
Current Correct Link:*
http://docs.oasis-open.org/soa-eerp/sla/v1.0/EERP-SLA-cd03.xsd*
* Line 110: Suggestion: "... Technical _*aspects*_ such as service
availability, accessibility, ..."
* Lines 134, 135: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 149, 150: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 156, 157: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 160, 161: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 200, 201: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 216, 217: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 220: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 262, 263: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 265, 267, 269, 271, 273, 275: Suggestion: "_*Describes*_
available operations..."
* Lines 281, 282: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 285: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 320, 321: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 328, 326: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 332: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes MAY
cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 352, 353: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 360, 361: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 387, 388: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 394, 395: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 401, 402: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 408, 409: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Line 412 is formatted in a different typeface/font from the style
used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind of
body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Note the use of a different typeface for the name of elements
immediately after a Numbered Section Title in the following
example does not sufficiently emphasize the name and causes visual
dissonance, and some text passages continue using that different
typeface so, IF this is an artifact of the OASIS specification
template it would be a good idea to point it out, or else use
italic or bold for emphasis because a different typeface that is
not significantly different just looks like an unintentional error.
5.1.1.2 CommittedTime
The Committed Time, Committed Time element of Service Level Objective
for Obligation in SLA Obligations in EERP-SLA, is the committed time
period in SLA, including Duration, Latency and Committed Completion Time.
* Lines 502, 503: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 583, 584: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 599, 600: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 628, 629: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 635, 636: grammatical error: "... Unrecognized attributes
MAY cause a fault or be silently _*ignored*_."
* Lines 776-778 are formatted in a different typeface/font from the
style used throughout the rest of the specification for that kind
of body text and should be changed to match the overall style.
* Line 806-808: grammatical errors: "...implementation silently
_*ignores*_ unrecognized attributes where any attribute is
allowed, or silently _*ignores*_ unrecognized elements where any
element is allowed, should be considered _*an*_ interoperable
implementation."
Good work. This is a substantial improvement.
Cheers,
Rex
--
Rex Brooks
President, CEO
Starbourne Communications Design
GeoAddress: 1361-A Addison
Berkeley, CA 94702
Tel: 510-898-0670
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