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Subject: Issue 45 - Trond's request for re-wording of line 1038-9 - open
All: As we agreed yesterday, the text would not be further edited at this point. I am tracking all proposed edits on this and Issue 45 will be kept open to capture those and any more. The editors will take these proposals into account when it comes to proposing revised wording for this part of the document. BTW and FWIW – I’m OK as an editor with the proposals so far… Cheers, Peter From: John Ross [mailto:ross@secstan.com] See slight amended proposed to the text below From: Chris Parker [mailto:chris.parker@cstransform.com] Here is my suggested draft to meet Trond’s point: “Over recent years, several governments have published a wide range of Policy Products as part of their work on Interoperability Frameworks and Enterprise Architectures, and there is significant good practice in these which other governments are able to draw on these as reference models when developing their own Policy Products. However, the scope of this document is to define a framework of the Policy Products required to ensure that a holistic, government - wide vision for transformation can be delivered, which is much broader than the scope of Interoperability Frameworks and Enterprise Architectures.” Chris Parker Managing Partner, CS Transform Ltd, +44 7951 754 060 From: Peter F Brown [mailto:peter@peterfbrown.com] Hi: We are due to discuss and vote on approving TGF Primer Working Draft 02 as a formal Committee Note Draft. There have been no substantial new comments or issues raised, but only a small number of editorial changes, that have been mentioned on the list. To clarify therefore, I would like us to vote to approve v2 with the following changes: Lines 241 and 275 – CSF diagram updated from ‘Do-Ability’ to ‘Achievable Delivery’; Lines 432 and 1332 – change ‘Channel Management’ to ‘Channel Transformation’; Line 1210 – remove line and comment regarding reference to IDM standards; Line 1301 – change ‘Web 2.0 technologies’ to ‘technologies’; Add names of editors; Add names of TC members to list in Acknowledgements, and that the duly modified draft be assigned v3 and submitted to TC Admin for approval… Talk soon! Regards, Peter Peter F Brown Independent Consultant Transforming our Relationships with Information Technologies Blog pensivepeter.wordpress.com LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/pensivepeter Twitter @pensivepeter P.O. Box 49719, Los Angeles, CA 90049, USA Tel: +1.310.694.2278 |
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