All:
As we agreed yesterday, the text would not be further edited at this point.
I am tracking all proposed edits on this and Issue 45 will be kept open to capture those and any more.
The editors will take these proposals into account when it comes to proposing revised wording for this part of the document.
BTW and FWIW – I’m OK as an editor with the proposals so far…
Cheers,
Peter
From: John Ross [mailto:ross@secstan.com]
Sent: Friday, 18 March, 2011 07:11
To: 'Chris Parker'; peter@peterfbrown.com; 'TGF TC List '
Subject: RE: [tgf] Today's motion to approve Working Draft 02
See slight amended proposed to the text below
From: Chris Parker [mailto:chris.parker@cstransform.com]
Sent: 17 March 2011 17:26
To: peter@peterfbrown.com; TGF TC List
Subject: RE: [tgf] Today's motion to approve Working Draft 02
Here is my suggested draft to meet Trond’s point:
“Over recent years, several governments have published a wide range of Policy Products as part of
their work on Interoperability Frameworks and Enterprise Architectures, and there is significant good practice in these which other governments are
able to draw on these as reference models when developing their own Policy Products.
However, the scope of this document is to define a framework of the Policy Products required to ensure that a holistic, government -
wide vision for transformation can be delivered, which is much broader than the scope of Interoperability Frameworks and Enterprise Architectures.”
Chris Parker
Managing Partner, CS Transform Ltd, +44 7951 754 060
From: Peter F Brown [mailto:peter@peterfbrown.com]
Sent: 17 March 2011 16:59
To: TGF TC List
Subject: [tgf] Today's motion to approve Working Draft 02
Hi:
We are due to discuss and vote on approving TGF Primer Working Draft 02 as a formal Committee Note Draft.
There have been no substantial new comments or issues raised, but only a small number of editorial changes, that have been mentioned on the list.
To clarify therefore, I would like us to vote to approve v2 with the following changes:
Lines 241 and 275 – CSF diagram updated from ‘Do-Ability’ to ‘Achievable Delivery’;
Lines 432 and 1332 – change ‘Channel Management’ to ‘Channel Transformation’;
Line 1210 – remove line and comment regarding reference to IDM standards;
Line 1301 – change ‘Web 2.0 technologies’ to ‘technologies’;
Add names of editors;
Add names of TC members to list in Acknowledgements,
and that the duly modified draft be assigned v3 and submitted to TC Admin for approval…
Talk soon!
Regards,
Peter
Peter F Brown
Independent Consultant
Transforming our Relationships with Information Technologies
Blog pensivepeter.wordpress.com
LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/pensivepeter
Twitter @pensivepeter
P.O. Box 49719, Los Angeles, CA 90049, USA
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