Comments on the Primer and Pattern Language documents

["Greenaway Nigel" <Nig.Greenaway@uk.fujitsu.com>]

Title: Comments on the Primer and Pattern Language documents

Hi All,

        Prior to the public consultation, I carried out a comparative review of both the Primer and Pattern Language documents. Some of the comments from that were incorporated into the published version of the PL document but others were, at the request of the TC, held over until the public consultation.

This note raises those (and a couple of other points) now.

Primer

1.      Line 238 et seq. I suggest that this section is a bit “chattier” than other parts of the paper with some statements in the 2^nd person. I believe it should be more formal and be couched in the 3^rd person.

2.      Line 392 To agree with Pattern 6 it should be a Transformational Business Model. This change will require a (careful) global replace throughout the document

3.      Line 401 The compliance statements in the PL document are not all replicated in the Primer. I suggest that compliance statements on skills and supplier partnerships should be included here.

4.      Line 430 “Transformation Delivery Roadmap” should be renamed “Roadmap for Transformation” to align with the Pattern (no [10])

5.      Line 552 As per comment 3 above, should this section now be lined up with the Pattern Language document? If so, the various compliance boxes will all need review.

6.      Line 978 We previously agreed that the Policy Map Grid should be populated with patterns. Certainly it needs updating (and future work in this area is planned). However, I don’t believe that would provide an entry for each cell.

7.      Line 988 This should be Transformation Delivery Roadmap to correspond with the item in the earlier list (line 653)

Pattern Language

1.      Line 338 Pattern [3] is called “Engagement with Stakeholders”

2.      Line 430 I suggest that this should also include [9] Supplier Partners as they will provide some of the external skills referred to in line 421

3.      Line 507 Benefits (WE want more than one benefit – I think this instance was missed in an earlier global replace operation).

4.      Line 586 “Engagement with Stakeholders” should be italicised.

These comments were pulled together as a background activity during the Cloud Symposium so I hope that they make sense. Where they don’t, I can attempt to clarify them at tomorrow’s F2F TC meeting.

Regards

Nig

Nig Greenaway

Government Division

FUJITSU

Lovelace Road, Bracknell, Berkshire, RG12 8SN

Tel: +44 (0) 843 354 5637 Internal: 7302 5637

Mob : +44 (0) 7867 833147 Internal: 7383 3147

E-mail: nig.greenaway@uk.fujitsu.com
Web: http://uk.fujitsu.com

Unless otherwise stated, this email has been sent from Fujitsu Services Limited, from Fujitsu (FTS) Limited, or from Fujitsu Telecommunications Europe Limited, together "Fujitsu".
 
This email is only for the use of its intended recipient.  Its contents are subject to a duty of confidence and may be privileged.  Fujitsu does not guarantee that this email has not been intercepted and amended or that it is virus-free.

Fujitsu Services Limited, registered in England No 96056, registered office 22 Baker Street, London W1U 3BW.

Fujitsu (FTS) Limited, registered in England No 03808613, registered office 22 Baker Street, London W1U 3BW.

Fujitsu Telecommunications Europe Limited, registered in England No 2548187, registered office Solihull Parkway, Birmingham Business Park, Birmingham, B37 7YU.