[tm-pubsubj-comment] Review of Deliverable 1 by Patrick Durusau

[Bernard Vatant <bernard.vatant@mondeca.com>]

> There has been no comment on the final draft posted in September, and I'm still waiting
> for the linguistic brushing promised by Steve.

Steve had passed the baby to Patrick Durusau, who has sent me a complete re-writing
proposal of Deliverable 1.

Although Patrick is not an official TC member, he has attended all F2F TC meetings so far
as invited guest, and was certainly highly qualified for such a reviewing task, based on
its expertise in Topic Maps, English language and juridical matters, among other
outstanding merites :))

I'm very pleased myself with Patrick's review, but it brings substantive editorial changes
that go further than simple rewording, e.g. getting rid of a certain number of superfluous
prose. So, before changing the draft, I've posted Patrick's review for comments at:
http://www.oasis-open.org/committees/tm-pubsubj/docs/pld/d1review.txt

It's a plain text version, tagged by Patrick in original text and proposed corrections.

I will send my own comments separately.

Bernard

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Bernard Vatant
Consultant - Mondeca
www.mondeca.com
Chair - OASIS TM PubSubj Technical Committee
www.oasis-open.org/committees/tm-pubsubj/
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