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Subject: Re: [wsdm] Groups - wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc uploaded
Thanks Kirk, I just did not like "NOTE:" I think that "Note" is an improvement, but please note I did not feel that "Please note" was cast in a pleading tone, but more of a 'familiar' tone. Anyway, no objections here to your suggested change. Regards, Mark Wilson, Kirk D wrote: >Mark, As usual, your revisions are very good and improve the >readability of the text. However, the one thing I question is the use >of "Please note" where the original text may have had "Note" or "NOTE:". >There are 25 occurrences of the word "Please" in the text--that is >better than a "Please" every other page!! After awhile I think it >starts sounding like pleading with the reader to do something--"Oh, >won't you please do this". I don't think we should plead so much. I >vote just going back to "Note". > >(I think I had a subtle difference between "Note" and "NOTE:"--the >former is something that the reader could see in the preceding text; the >latter constituted independent information that supplements the provided >information--but I'm not sure I always followed my own convention and >perhaps the distinction is too subtle and is lost on the reader.) > >Anyone have thoughts on this? > >Kirk Wilson >Architect, Development >Office of the CTO >802 765-4337 > >-----Original Message----- >From: ellison@ieee.org [mailto:ellison@ieee.org] >Sent: Friday, October 14, 2005 2:10 PM >To: wsdm@lists.oasis-open.org >Subject: [wsdm] Groups - wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc uploaded > >The document named wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc has been submitted by >Mark Ellison to the OASIS Web Services Distributed Management (WSDM) TC >document repository. > >Document Description: >These are my readability edits for the MOWS primer. > >Hopefully these changes improve reader understanding of this primer and >hopefully I have not altered the technical accuracy of this material. > >View Document Details: >http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/wsdm/document.php?document_ >id=14906 > >Download Document: >http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/wsdm/download.php/14906/wd- >wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc > > >PLEASE NOTE: If the above links do not work for you, your email >application >may be breaking the link into two pieces. You may be able to copy and >paste >the entire link address into the address field of your web browser. > >-OASIS Open Administration > > > >
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