Re: [ebxml-cppa] Comments on CPPA 1.11 (part 1)

[Tony Weida <rweida@hotmail.com>]

The line numbers that Marty references don't align with the line numbers in
the Word document as it appears on my machine, so ...

Everyone -- please make future comments against CPPA version 1.11 as it
appears on the OASIS website in PDF format:

http://www.oasis-open.org/committees/ebxml-cppa/documents/working_drafts/ebC
PP-1_11.pdf

Marty -- if you can translate your line numbers for the PDF version, that
would be great.  If not, I may need to seek clarification on particular
items as I make the changes.

Thanks to all!

Tony

----- Original Message -----
From: "Martin W Sachs" <mwsachs@us.ibm.com>
To: <ebxml-cppa@lists.oasis-open.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 11, 2002 1:39 PM
Subject: [ebxml-cppa] Comments on CPPA 1.11 (part 1)


> Here are my comments on CPPA 1.11 through 8.4.22.1.  I used the Word file
> that was distributed.  I am including section numbers in case there is a
> problem with line numbers.
>
> Based on what I have reviewed so far, the draft is extremely clean.  These
> comments are editorial only (although a few might be considered
technical).
>
> 315 (5.2):  I suggest making the document conventions material (5.2 and
> 5.3) a separate major section (6)  rather them burying them within the
> introduction.
>
> 351-355 (5.3):  This paragraph should be normative.  Please change "will"
> to "SHALL" throughout the paragraph.
>
> 672 (8.2):  Please improve the example of tp:cppid by adding a term to the
> URI that can be varied per line 703 of 8.3 (change the value of cppid when
> the CPP document changes).
>
> 704:  Change "CPP doocument" to "CPP instance document".
>
> 764 (8.4):  Change "partyName SHALL" to "partyName attribute SHALL".
>
> 807 (8.4.1): Change "identifier that MAY be" to "identifier that SHALL
be".
> (MAY is incorrect since PartyId is a required element.)
>
> 844:   Please add a reference for IANA (presumably a URL).  Spelling it
out
> here might also be helpful.
>
> 1091 (8.4.4.3)  uuid should be bold italic.
>
> 1189 (8.4.4.6):  Please add a cross reference to the description of
> ds:Signature (presumably 9.9 or 9.9.1).
>
> 1272 (8.4.6.1):  Please replace CollaborationRole by "CollaborationRole
> element".
>
> 1362 (8.4.12):  Typo:  should be BusinessTransactionCharacteristics
>
> 1403 (8.4.12.1):  Replace "should" by "SHOULD".
>
> 1461 (8.4.13):  Replace "the Process-Specification" by "the
> Process-Specification document.
>
> 1486 (8.4.13.3):  Didn't we decide to replace SSL by TLS everywhere?  I
> believe that we were also going to add a note on compatibility between TLS
> and SSL.
>
> 1570 (8.4.13.12):  Replace "the number" by "the maximum number"
>
> 1582 (8.4.14):  Please replace ChannelId by "ChannelId attribute"
>
> 1583-1584:  (DeliveryChannels, Endpoints, DeliveryChannel):  If these are
> intended to be ordinary words, please replace as non-bold,
non-capitalized,
> non-italic with spaces between "delivery" and "channel". If they are
> intended to be names of elements, please remove the plural forms and add
> "element" or "elements" after each.
>
> 1595, 1601, and elsewhere  (8.4.15):  The correct reference for wildcard
is
> XML Schema part 1, not XML.
>
> 1595, 1601, and elsewhere:  Didn't we decide to remove all wildcard
> elements?
>
> 1630 (8.4.15.3):  RequestingBusinessActivity should be in bold.
>
> 1631:If BusinessTransaction is intended to be ordinary words, add a space;
> if it is intended to be an element name, make it bold and add the word
> "element".
>
> 1639 (8.4.16)  Change BinaryCollaborations to Binary Collaborations.
>
> 1664 (8.4.17):  Change MAY  to "can".  MAY is inappropriate since the
> cardinality of Certificate is one or more.
>
> 1675: I believe that Certificate should be the name of  an element here;
> hence it needs bold italic and should be followed by "element".
> Alternatively, if it is intended to be an ordinary word, it should not be
> capitalized.
>
> 1675-1676:  I do not understand the sentence in parentheses. Please
> clarify.
>
> 1678:  Please change "Certificate Authority: to "certificate authority"
> here and elsewhere.
>
> 1673 (8.4.21):  Please change "a name as shown" to "an ID attribute whose
> value is shown" (I think I made this error generations ago).
>
> 1827-1916 (8.4.22.1): Many attribute names in this section have an initial
> capital which should be changed to lower case.
>
> 1842:  Either change DeliveryChannel to delivery channel (no bold, no
> italic) or add the word "element" after DeliveryChannel.
>
> 1869:  Change TimeToPerform to "timeToPerform" (bold italic, first letter
> lower case)
>
> 1571 (8.4.13.12):  Please replace "Transaction is to be retried" by
> "Transaction MAY be retried"
>
> Regards,
> Marty
>
>
****************************************************************************
*********
>
> Martin W. Sachs
> IBM T. J. Watson Research Center
> P. O. B. 704
> Yorktown Hts, NY 10598
> 914-784-7287;  IBM tie line 863-7287
> Notes address:  Martin W Sachs/Watson/IBM
> Internet address:  mwsachs @ us.ibm.com
>
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*********
>
>
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