Re: [emergency] NOAA Letter and meeting today a 3:00 EDT

[Rex Brooks <rexb@starbourne.com>]

Thanks Elysa,

I am available today for the call.

I think the first paragraph is a bit disjointed. 
I think the second sentence should not be one 
long sentence, but two shorter ones. Also the 
last sentence does not seem to belong with the 
paragraph's overall thought and sounds like 
something I would expect the addressee (along 
with whomever else we are addressing by 
implication) to know. I think it should be a 
separate short paragraph. I suggest:

I am writing on behalf of the Emergency 
Management Technical Committee (EMTC) of the 
Organization for the Advancement of Structured 
Information Standards (OASIS). We would like to 
commend your staff for utilizing the Common 
Alerting Protocol (CAP) as the basis for the 
HazCollect system, an NWS initiative in 
partnership with the Federal Emergency Management 
Agency. We also want to address an anticipated 
far reaching problem with the system in its 
current form.

As you may know, HazCollect enables federal, 
state and local emergency managers to 
automatically forward Non-Weather Emergency 
Messages into the NOAA All-Hazard Radio network 
and other NOAA public dissemination systems.

I would also break the current second paragraph 
into at least two paragraphs, breaking with the 
sentence that starts: "Deviation...."

Regards,
Rex

At 10:46 AM -0500 6/16/06, Elysa Jones wrote:
>TC Members,
>
>Patti and I have worked on the NOAA letter which 
>is attached.  Please review as soon as possible. 
>I would like to have a telecon to accept any 
>final comments and approve the letter with a 
>quorum this afternoon if possible.  Please try 
>to be available for a very short call at 
>3:00EDT.  Reply to the list if can make this. 
>Thank you, Elysa
>
>Attachment converted: Macintosh 
>HD:Lautenbacher_draft_TC1.doc (WDBN/«IC») 
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--
Rex Brooks
President, CEO
Starbourne Communications Design
GeoAddress: 1361-A Addison
Berkeley, CA 94702
Tel: 510-849-2309