RE: Section 3 - latest draft

["Estefan, Jeff A (3100)" <jeffrey.a.estefan@jpl.nasa.gov>]

Peter and Chris,

Looks like we've finally made it over the hump.  Latest Sect 3 draft looks really good.  Couple of mostly minor editorial comments below.  Think it's about time to tie this one down.  I'll work on updating/creating the associated UML models.  Right now, my machine is being repaired so I don't have access to MD.  Hope to get to it sometime this week.

Regards...

 - Jeff

Line 555:  We had adopted the editorial standard to use "View" in Title case when we called out or referenced to the View name, e.g., Participation in a SOA Ecosystem View (vs. view).

Line 580.  Same as 555.

Line 583.  Recommend adding "As stated ealier" before sentence that starts with "The OAISS SOA RM defines SOA...".  Otherwise, this looks like a duplication of lines 567-569.

Line 605:  Recommend putting "execution context" in bold face type (first occurrence).

Line 622:  Recommend putting "delegates" in bold face type (first occurrence).

Line 631:  The concept of "service actions" is no longer defined anywhere in this View.   Should this be "the action model" and/or "joint actions" (in bold)?

Line 672:  Are we using RAF for shorthand or SOA-RAF?  Sometimes we use hyphen, sometimes not and same with RM (or SOA-RM).  Think we should be consistent throughout and preference for the shorthand would be consistent with the listed standards on the OASIS site (and in the case of the RM, it is SOA-RM so by extrapolation, think we should use SOA-RAF.

Line 677:   Extra period at the end of the sentence.

Line 726:  Should we consider showing SOA Ecosystem and SOA-Based System at a higher level of the class hierarchy in Fig. 5?  Just a thought but perhaps not if it will only introduce additional confusion.  Just trying to be consistent with the updated text.

Line 738:  Recommend changing "is a participant or delegate" to "is an entity".  This makes it more general and we do not need to formally define entity.  It also solves the circular hierarchy issue.

Line 746:  What is meant by "semi-automated" agent?

Lines 770-771:  Change "and the actions that participant may performs" to "and the actions that a participant may perform".

Line 803:  Erroneous period between the words "concerned" and "even".

Line 849:  Perhaps find a better forward reference than "later on".  I see the actual referenced section number is cross-out but leaving it in would read more professionally.

Line 889:  Concept of "owner" is shown in bold face type but is not formally defined in the text.  Ownership is but Owner is not.  In addition, an owner is referred to as a role but it is not modeled in the subsection on service roles.

Line 1018  Extra period at the end of the sentence.

Line 1088:  Is risk indeed a "private" assessment?  Don't want to belabor the point or get into a long debate.  Just asking when wearing a PM hat.

Line 1157:  Need blank spaces at the end of the sentence "for satisfying them" followed by the sentence that starts with "These".

Line 1175:  Word "possible" is part of the previous paragraph and should not be split between its owning paragraph and Fig. 9.

Line 1261:  Need to state in the text that follows this new formal definition of RWE why it is different from what was defined in the SOA-RM.  It is OK to overload the original definition in order to give the term more specificity or context but we should state an argument why we choose to overload the originally defined term.