RE: [wsdm] Groups - wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc uploaded

["Wilson, Kirk D" <Kirk.Wilson@ca.com>]

Mark,  As usual, your revisions are very good and improve the
readability of the text.  However, the one thing I question is the use
of "Please note" where the original text may have had "Note" or "NOTE:".
There are 25 occurrences of the word "Please" in the text--that is
better than a "Please" every other page!!  After awhile I think it
starts sounding like pleading with the reader to do something--"Oh,
won't you please do this".  I don't think we should plead so much. I
vote just going back to "Note".  

(I think I had a subtle difference between "Note" and "NOTE:"--the
former is something that the reader could see in the preceding text; the
latter constituted independent information that supplements the provided
information--but I'm not sure I always followed my own convention and
perhaps the distinction is too subtle and is lost on the reader.)

Anyone have thoughts on this?

Kirk Wilson
Architect, Development
Office of the CTO
802 765-4337
 
-----Original Message-----
From: ellison@ieee.org [mailto:ellison@ieee.org] 
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2005 2:10 PM
To: wsdm@lists.oasis-open.org
Subject: [wsdm] Groups - wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc uploaded

The document named wd-wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc has been submitted by
Mark Ellison to the OASIS Web Services Distributed Management (WSDM) TC
document repository.

Document Description:
These are my readability edits for the MOWS primer.

Hopefully these changes improve reader understanding of this primer and
hopefully I have not altered the technical accuracy of this material.

View Document Details:
http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/wsdm/document.php?document_
id=14906

Download Document:  
http://www.oasis-open.org/apps/org/workgroup/wsdm/download.php/14906/wd-
wsdm-primer-mows-1-1-me.doc


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