Re: [humanmarkup-comment] WHAT HAPPENED?!?

[Rex Brooks <rexb@starbourne.com>]

Title: Re: [humanmarkup-comment] WHAT HAPPENED?!?

I suspect this has happened to most of us at one time or another. The one time it happened to me, the friendship got considerably stronger, but the breakdown was about 6 months long. As for the best friend who has disappeared, I have no clue about that whatsoever. I don't recall doing anything and he did nothing and I never have gotten upset about anything except the disappearance, so I remain clueless. My take is that any friendship is worth the effort, but the time that worked out it wasn't me that made the reconciling move, so what do I really know?

Ciao,

Rex

At 9:51 PM -0500 11/6/01, Walt Hucal wrote:

> I thought
> this might be an interesting topic; I'm going to try to explain what
> happened in the best way possible.
>  
> Ok, lets
> take a "hypothetical" situation where you and I get into
> this "fight", one based on conflict of
> interests.
>  
> Let's say
> that you and I have a pretty good, decent friendship.  And let's
> say I did something that really pissed you off.  And by the same
> token, I see that YOU did something that really pissed ME off. 
> We end up not talking for a couple months because of that strain. 
> We both can't UNDERSTAND WHY we got into this mess, considering
> we're good friends.  So eventually we open back up to each
> other and begin to describe how we reacted and
> why.
>  
> After a few
> hours of talking back and forth, we both get nowhere near
> understanding each other.  What pissed you off may have been no
> big deal to me, and what pissed ME off may have been no big deal to
> YOU.  We try to put ourselves in each others shoes, but the 100%
> understanding is never really there.  That strain is still there
> from that hurt, but is it worth giving up a friendship over
> that?
>  
> See, I think
> we end up knowing a person's sore spot (vulnerable point), and we be
> careful not to infringe on it.  But we never really understand
> WHY that is a person's sore spot.
>  
> Does this
> kinda make sense?  Is there another way to tackle this?  Do
> any of you have any idea what I'm talking about?  Too many
> friends are lost b/c of these situations, and even after opening back
> up to each other, I wonder if we are off any better or closer to each
> other than before?  This has happened to me about 3 times
> already over the past 3 months.  I seem to be batting 1.000 ;-) 
> Ok, I lied, this is not really a hypothetical situation, it's real... 
> Hey, it's not like you can continue the friendship and
> just ignore the "hurt" that was done... 
> So...
>  
> Maybe I
> should be writing to Dr. Joyce Brothers...
>  
> -Walt
>  
>

-- 

Rex Brooks
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